I hate my landlord with a passion. She is this 70 year old woman who looks harmless but she's on a massive power trip and has a heart of stone. Every time we go to her to tell her something is wrong with the apartment (i.e. 3 times a week) she just blows us off by telling us that we are doing things in our apartment that violate our contract.
We had this popping noise emanating from beneath our carpet. She decided she would let it stay there for an extra 8 weeks because we have an extra mini fridge in our apartment. The logic is just sound.
The other day I caught myself in an embarrasing moment when I said that "I want to do terrible things to that woman!" I immediately realized that what I said could mean exactly what I wanted it to mean as well as the exact opposite. Of course, everyone around me chose to believe that I want to bang our landlord.
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My friends more often than not choose not to laugh when I tell jokes. Instead they choose to laugh at me directly when I'm completely serious. So here is the finest compilation of moments and observations that I am totally serious about.
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